Charis - grace in a wee girl - oh and Ben too

This is one of my favourite pictures of all time. It is my kids.

As a result of this I have adjusted my last posting, to reflect a more gracious and wholesome thought. You see it is this that motivates me. I remember when Charis was born, actually before she was born, when we chose her name. My wife had not long found out she was pregnant and we were discussing names. I can't remember who came up with the suggestion but we both knew at once, she was Charis - Grace, a free gift with no strings attached, care and love motivating a respect and gentle treatment of others. When we were married a friend gave us a picture, well really it was more than that it is an ikon - or icon - painted by a lady who was a coptic iconographer. It is a picture of Christ with a lamb over his shoulders and a quote from Isaiah about a shepherd looking after the lambs and those with young. We knew that this was what could be referred to as a call on our lives, to look after those who needed care. We have tried to do this, though frequently unsuccessfully, and often I have avoided my responsibility to follow my selfish desires, rather than God's

Remembering this has caused me to look at my life again. In the last blog I asked ... Who knows what tomorrow brings?... Well that is still the question but the response is different. TM and I were MSN'in the other night and had a long and deep conversation, as is our way. At the end of it I was left with some thoughts about how I have fucked up much of my life. The up side of this, as it emerged from the conversation, was that in this was the liberty of a relationship with God, one not built on my supposed goodness but one built on the knowledge that I had done nothing redemptive and that my life deserved hell and damnation, therefore if I was truly beyond the pail then there was nothing to lose or gain in a relationship with god it was a neutral act, one that was for the sake of the relationship itself. That was freeing, it was an understanding of Grace/Charis. Even if I was not to be forgiven much I could still forgive and try to live at peace with the world and the eventual destiny did not mater what mattered was doing what I wanted to and what I felt was right for me. This brings me back to Charis, we named her because - and here is the big and arrogant picture - we wanted her name to be a message to the church about how they should live. And everyday it is a message to me about how I should live. Here is to the awakening of charis in my life, lets hope I get there.