Drink

Well this is my response to not getting the job! What can you do except bite your lip, try to smile and get outrageously drunk!

In the words of Tammy Fay Baker (I saw her being interviewed after Jim had been taken away for fraud) 'When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade'. I know that others have said it too, but she finished it by saying 'a smile is a frown, turned upside down'.

I have no idea what this actually means or proves but... her old man had just been locked up and was claiming to see elephants whilst hiding under a table in his lawyers office.

This brings me to tonight's musing.

Why is it that as we get older our confidence seems to diminish rather than increase?

You would think that it would. We know ourselves better and have a more realistic view of what we can do, we should and generally have achieved more and for most of us we are more likely to be in a relationship that is positive and supports us.

Yet we are still capable of being levelled with one or two comments.

We should careless about what people think yet in some ways we seem to care more.

Perhaps it is just me... if it is don't tell me that will just make me feel worse.

Perhaps it is just where I am at just now...

It is the funny thing with jobs, and relationships too. For you to get them or make them work you have to invest of yourself. Yet that makes you vulnerable.

Lets take the job I didn't get. I had two ways of approaching the job interview. Either I could decide that I didn't care about the job and that would come over at the interview, or commit myself to really going for the job and hope that my commitment showed through. The first - in my field of work - would have fairly conclusively written me off of the job. But on the upside I would not care and would cope well with the rejection - partly because I had rejected them first. The second would have given me a better chance of getting the job - or in this case made fuck all difference - but then if I was rejected it would be a much more personal blow and would leave me 'hurt' like being ditched by a girlfriend.

You will recognise the dilemma.

There is another way of dealing with it and that involved changing who I am.

The problem is one that many of my friends have too. We are all fairly self reflective creative types, who don't like to overstate what we do. It is a party thing. We all know what it is like when you meet someone at a party who has an over inflated sense of themselves. They act like the have a "ten foot cock", well none of us like them, though some of us must be them, so we don't like to over sell ourself. So we don't we give measured and 'accurate' responses and they sweep in woo the crowd and take our jobs!

Or maybe we've just watched too many Woody Allen films!

SF