'Who knows what tomorrow brings?'

Following Dubious and Tumchie's example I have decided to clear the air with some people I have large trucks with.


1. You are a poisonous weasel whose egocentric relationship to the world means you treat everyone as being inferior and the truth about you is that you are a common wee nyaff, whose taste in clothes, music, and style betrays just how common you are. (in love, that is)

That felt good!

2. I lied.

3. You are.

4. You are a total wanker at times and you need to get passed your self pity and get the fuck on with it

5. I was being ironic when I apologized and only a moron would not have noticed that.

6. (warning this will be vitriolic) You think that you know so much and thought that you had the right to make decisions about peoples lives, well who was right? I hope you can reflect on how you handled the situation and live with some of the pain you have caused, knowing what it did to the souls of a number of people, some adults and some young. Yet part of me hopes that when you have realised the implication of your actions you know forgiveness.

7. You abused your position with those young people because you are a wee man with a wee personality.

8. You are a joke.

9. What a waist (pun - intentional)

10. Yes I do mind that we don't do that!

On to the musing...

Success

I am once again putting myself through the pain of applying for another job with the hope of an interview and even the job itself. I feel I am - emotionally - in a better place, (aside from the above comments) and more able to cope with the whole interview and possible rejection thing. But that is the really difficult thing. In going for this job not only is there the emotional chance of feeling 'un chosen' {not so much a theological state as a childhood memory from football, rounders, cricket, tennis, in fact any game in which I hoped to be chosen and was not!} but there is also the psychological damage this may do to me. I like all neo-Freudian/Jungians - a new group of people who have read one too many pop psychology books and will pick and mix from the collective consciousness and the id as we see fit - are too aware of our psyche and such things and see dangers in the simplest of things (mainly decisions) so that we are caught in some non-existential angst. Where was I... Oh yes... I have spent the last 10 years trying to stop defining myself by what I do and focus on who I am, so every job I go for sets my therapy back by several months because everything from application to interview is about judging what you do at some level. But I need the money so that will at least help!

Yet all this being said I know how I pick/picked staff, it was not their CV of information but who they were, the person that came over at interview, rather that the tasks they had completed. Perhaps that will be my strength, communicating who I am not just what I have done. What I am like, not just how hard I work.